Angels & Demons, Howard, 2009

Even before viewing Angels & Demons, it was clear that it has all the earmarks of a disaster -- a sequel (to DaVinci Code (4)), bad director (Ron Howard), and based on an awful book. So, to come away with it just being a very bad movie is something of a victory.

I like Tom Hanks in general, but the Robert Langdon character that he's played in the two Howard/Brown films has not been a good choice for him. I blame the character more than Hanks because there's simply nothing for him to do but spout out one ridiculous revelation after the next, all the while looking serious and grim. Ewan McGregor is also pretty bad in this film, particulary at the end. Basically, Dan Brown is an awful writer and the two guys translating his crazy story into a screenplay can't do anything to improve it.

One of the few saving points of the film is the Vatican location shooting -- looks pretty awesome. Ayelet Zurer is pretty, and usually a good actess, but she has almost nothing to do in this movie but follow Tom Hanks around and listen to his awful lines. Nikolaj Lie Kaas does the best job of anybody with his limited role as the assassin.

A 3 rating.

Austraila - Luhrmann, 2008

Australia is a supremely unoriginal, overly-ambitious bomb that spews out one cliched scene after another. It tries to be an old-fashioned epic but falls flat on its face. This is Baz Luhrmann's first film since his vastly over-rated Moulin Rouge (5) and we can only hope he doesn't make another film for seven years.

It does have some merits though. The art direction is excellent, probably thanks to Ian Gracie. And Luhrmann's one positive signature move is the overhead tracking shot that drops into a reverse pan. These were also the only saving graces of Moulin Rouge.

This isn't enough to overcome a botched story and shoddy direction though. A 3 rating.

Apocalypto - Gibson, 2006

I had low expectations for this film, expecting another Gibson gore-fest. And while there is plenty of blood and guts tossed about here, it is also an entertaining action movie. I give Gibson credit for sticking with native languages and subtitles, as this film wouldn't work without that. He also includes some very good details during the village and city scenes.

Gibson is a simple message kind of director, much in the Clint Eastwood style, but this is his best work. Better than Braveheart (5) and far better than the nauseating Passion of the Christ (3). The action is way over the top in some places (such as the baby being born under water while his mother struggles against drowning) and that helps knock it down a notch, but I still give it a 6 rating.

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust - Kawajiri 2000

Definitely a better than average anime flick, full of action and stylishly drawn backdrops. The characters are pretty stock, but there are plenty of good action sequences.

This is a sequel and I didn't see the first movie, but it was easy to catch on to what the characters were up to. Also, the dvd I saw this on played badly and I expect that detracted a bit from the excellent animation. A 6 rating, and close to a 7.

The Reader - Daldry, 2008

The Reader is a very slow paced, serious film. Like Daldry's earlier The Hours (7), it is told in non-linear fashion with flash-forward scenes. While not quite as good as Hours, it is still a solid effort. Kate Winslet won an Oscar for her performance here, and I guess she deserves it, although Meryl Strep was quite good in Doubt (7).

I haven't read the book that this was based on, but I suspect that it suffers from trying to be true to the original material, while at the same time staying within a two hour format. It moves along slowly, yet at the same time there are moments when it seems like we've jumped though the story very quickly, as if we've skipped ahead a few chapters in the book. This is a typical problem with novel adaptations.

It's still a good film though. A 6 rating.

I'm Not There - Haynes, 2007

A stylishly complicated pseudo-biopic that is extremely uneven. I'm enough of a Bob Dylan buff to catch the many references and to appreciate the nuances in the various Dylanesque performances. I'm certain that non-Dylan experts would find this about as comprehensible as a vintage Dylan soliloquy.

No amount of Dylan expertise can quite hide the fact that this is a confusing mess. The early scenes with the Woody boy are embarrassingly bad, and the Richard Gere scenes seem like they should be in a different movie. Ledger's characterization also seems out of place. Both Bale and Moore seem to be taking this as parody.

Blanchett clearly steals the show and salvages the film to some degree. She deserved her Oscar nomination, and perhaps even a bit more, since she was better than Swinton was in Michael Clayton (7). Or perhaps, more accurately, both deserved nominations and no statue, and the other nominees deserved neither.

Scorsese's documentary, No Direction Home (8), is a far better film, but I give Haynes some credit for being ambitiously creative. He put together a great soundtrack, with both Dylan and others singing. And the film has some interesting cinematography, including many striking black and white sequences. A 6 rating.

Doomsday -- Marshall, 2008

Doomsday is so bad on so many levels that it is almost watchable, just to marvel at how awful it is. When they are handing out Razzies for 2008, serious consideration must be given to Splat Pack Marshall (both for writing and directing this mess), whatever twisted individual created the truly horrific soundtrack, and both Malcolm McDowell and Bob Hoskins (and their agents) for being in this disaster.

If Road Warrior (6) was directed by a demented 13 year old and performed by monkeys, you'd get a pretty good imitation of this film. A 1 rating.